Happy Holidays.

May the Herald of the New Year trumpet in bountiful glories for you and yours, and bring Peace to one and all.

I went on a hike recently with two college friends of mine. Eli and Fisher. We hiked eight miles that day through the backcountry and headed to the campsite. It was remote, but, being former Scouts, we were prepared. Water. Rain gear. Bear spray. We planned for every contingency. Or so we thought.

Nature called, so I went to visit a tree and Eli and Fisher walked ahead. As I caught up to them, a beam of light locked in on them from above. It made no sound whatsoever. I swear I saw a luminous globe the size of a double-wide. It had a protrusion coming from its base where the beam came from.

Honest to goodness Aliens. I know we humans have digital watches, stealth fighters, and self-driving cars that only occasionally kill people. But not flying globes that beam people up!

I called out to my friends but they didn’t move. I picked up the biggest rock I knew I could throw and then hesitated.

At a time like this, you know deep down there’s nothing you can do. You’re dealing with a force much greater than yourself and you happen to be one lucky son-of-a-bitch that didn’t get their attention. If they saw you, you’re getting anal probed and stuck in a giant jar with fluid like a lab rat. Do you let them take your friends while you skedaddle? Or do you do something?

Yeah, well, I’m writing this, so you know what I did. I ran. I reported them missing and said the last time I saw them was when I went to take a leak. Eli and Fisher showed up two weeks later stark naked in the center of town. Neither remembered anything. That right there is the brain protecting itself. Let this be a lesson for everyone. There are things out there you shouldn’t mess with. So just shut your mouth and mind your own business.

I had the opportunity to view Comet C/2019 Q4 (also Comet Tsuchinshan-ATLAS). Standing by the side of a lake with a group of strangers, all looking west for the same thing…a chance to view something that would not come around again for 800 centuries. Yup, last time it came around, there were still unassimilated Neanderthals drawing paintings in caves.

Given the light pollution, the comet was barely perceptible with the naked eye, but once found, I was able to zoom in on it. Here’s the picture.

The presence of something like this was awe inspiring, as much as it had been to Homo Sapiens for millennia. Throughout history, comets have been an omen…well, to be honest, it has been an omen of something foreboding. Pestilence. Plague. Death. The Venerable Bede (c.672-735), an English monk and one of the most learned people of his time, once wrote that comets “…are born suddenly, portending a change of royal power or plague or wars or winds or heat.” So pretty much anything bad. The first discovery of this comet happened to coincide with the first recorded cases of COVID-19 in, yes, 2019.

I ask myself this: Has this comet spent its omen-inspiring event already with COVID? Is it all done? As it made its closest pass to the Earth on October 12^th, did any of those vapors the ancients believed were drifting from it make their way down here to invade our atmosphere? Did it sprinkle us with whatever the opposite of pixie dust is? With monkey pox, the regular flu, the common cold, listeria, salmonella, e coli, measles, dengue, Marburg, oropouche, and bird flu all on the march, are we safe from comets? Shouldn’t we do something about them?